How Women, Men Conceive of Love written by a man
This is my very first blog to post in public, and I am writing about women, men, and love. What the hell.
In a romantic sense, at age of thirty, I have in differing degree had experiences of both loving someone and being loved by someone, if I am not delusional at all. In fact, I have loved someone and that someone has loved me. My life seemed so beautifully peaceful and bright when the relationship was very much stable in nature, while my heart felt like broken into pieces, hurt and bled as if stung with thousands of needles, and that life all of sudden turned into some dark place where it seems there is no way out, and I am lost in there, eternally.
After having undergone a few serious relationships where I loved and was loved, I have finally come to better recognize the difference of how woman, men conceive of love, or how love is perceived by a different sex. For the record, this statement is truly based on my personal experiences, hence by no means to generalize the above topic. Yet, I still see some patterns in them through my past serious relationships.
In short (for a serious relationship, or love), the timeline of how women, men conceive of love is different; women inhabit her love in succession, and men in accumulation. In other words, for women, the present is what matters whereas the past and present both matter to men in recognizing love.
A stable love is only sustained when the present is satisfying for women. She does not concern the past as much as he does, indicating that how much he has done for her, how good you were to her, those good old times shared and spent together would not be that important for her feel secured or truly loved. What is, is how you are NOW. If you are not good to her, not satisfying her at this present when she demands it, the love she finds in you can decay. Nonetheless, of course she will give him another chance to prove himself being able to give what she wants and needs. After several failures that he cannot satisfy her present, the love is hardly to be sustained.
What about for men? A good stable love is sustained if the overall experience of the relationship HAS BEEN good. If she has been good to him, or there is so much quality time shared and spent together, the love stays strong. (Oh yes, some may be wondering lots of cases where men fall in infidelity, and please note that women do too. These people are simply making a big mistakes caused by a variety of impulses. And most of it all, I know this sounds stupid, but "shit happens, it really can", right? bullshit) Due to this, as she does little things from time to time to make him happy or she and he do things together to be happy together, sharing such time, naturally he will remember these (in case he does not, it means he does not love you) when thinking of love. At least, it is not about how good she was at a point, that day, or that particular moment. It is about how she has been to you.
In sum, for a love to be sustained, one constantly be aware of her wants, and needs to daily-update his performance. And one accumulate little happy memories over time. In relationship that is short, one good night can be remembered forever for women because that is the only 'present' she has with him. But, in case of long-term relationship, that one good night can soon be forgotten if another one does not follow after to let her see the present: succession.
Thank you for reading, and I welcome comments from female readers as much as males'.
